"Sweet honey comes from bees that sting"
Candide

"Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it."
P. J. O'Rourke

We will probably be judged not by the monuments we build but by those we have destroyed.
"Farewell to Penn Station," New York Times editorial, October 30, 1963

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up.
It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.
Every morning a lion wakes up.
It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.
It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle.
When the sun comes up, you better start running.
Herb Caen

Our lives on this planet are too short. The work to be done is too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in this land of ours. Of course we cannot vanquish it with a program, nor with a resolution.

But we can perhaps remember, if only for a time, that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek, as do we, nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and in happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment that they can.

Surely, this bond of common fate, surely this bond of common goals, can begin to teach us something. Surely, we can learn, at the least, to look around at those of us, of our fellow men, and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our hearts brothers and countrymen once again.

Robert F. Kennedy

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.

The things we fear the most are the things that have already happened to us.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have

Advice for talking to the opposite sex:
Remember, your not funny.

Lillian: I keep trying to remind myself that when Jesus closes a door he opens a window.
Mary: Yeah, so we have something to jump out of.
- Saved!

I always tell the girls never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously then you never get hurt. If you never get hurt then you always have fun, and if you ever get lonely you can just go to the record store and visit your friends.
- Penny Lane, Almost Famous

The well that is most often used gives the purest water
-Hebrew Proverb

A man was walking under a tree and a bird pooped on him - as this is supposed to be lucky, he decided to buy a Fortune 4 scratchcards ticket and won £24.00. The following week the same thing happened, a little bird pooped on him from the same tree! So he went and bought another National Lottery Fortune 4 and won £444.

He now spends time on Wednesdays and Saturday standing under that lucky tree, waiting for that little bird to.

After spending what can only be described as an extremely sordid night with a sexy and utterly filthy young lady named Gemma, I decided to cheer her up by texting her, detailing everything I was intent on doing to her the next time. Graphically. Grandma was not amused to receive this. Not fully understanding it and seeking guidance as to the meaning of some of the content, neither was my mother. My gran won't sit next to me at family events any more.

Never stroke a burning dog.

A higher percentage of this country voted against Labour than voted for them...yet they're still going to govern us for the next four years.

There is a person, there is a problem; no person no problem.

J. V Stalin

Si ce que tu as à dire n'est pas plus beau que le silence alors tais toi....

You were shot?!?
Yes, in the mouth.
In the mouth?!?!?
Yes, I got better.

Whatever happens, just remember- it could always be worse.